Let them know that your place is not comfortable or relaxing. A good way to head off an uninvited house guest is to share with them the fact that your home is not really welcoming. By letting them know that your home is often chaotic, they'll see it as an undesirable place to stay.

Refusing unwanted guests requires a balance of firmness and politeness to avoid a long-term social rift. The most effective strategy is to provide a "hard no" without over-explaining, as giving an excuse (like "I'm busy that week") often invites the guest to suggest a different time. A polite script would be: "Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to host guests right now, but I’d love to meet up for lunch while you're in town!" By offering an alternative (like meeting for coffee or suggesting a nearby hotel), you show that you value the relationship but are setting a boundary regarding your personal space. If the person is persistent, you can simply repeat: "As much as I'd like to see you, I'm just not able to have houseguests at this time." Most etiquette experts in 2026 agree that being direct is actually kinder than "ghosting" or giving vague answers that lead to further confusion and awkwardness later.